Beach House
by Bardic Jester
Summary: Bored, Theodore Nott and Rolf Scamander decide to spend the weekend at Rolf's family's cottage on the beach. The same weekend, Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger rent out a cottage down the beach, hoping for a fun weekend. When the two groups collide, their quiet weekend becomes an explosion of anxiety, comedy, repression, sex, regret and love. Will they leave the beach the same?
1. Escape

Beach House

or

A Seaside Summer Night Sex Comedy

**Chapter 1**: Escape

Rolf Scamander and Theodore Nott grabbed their drinks from the coffee shop counter on a warm summer day. Rolf held onto his tea in one hand, and a thick book in the other. He traversed between the occupied tables before sitting at a small round table in the corner. Nott followed slowly behind him. "How have you been?" Rolf asked. He placed his tea and the book on the table.

Nott sat down morose. His face was angular and sharp. Nott was needle thin, but tall. His black hair was messy and wild. He wore a tailored suit, with a white dress shirt, a thin black tie, and large black sunglasses covering his eyes. On the table, he placed down his coffee, dropped four cubes of sugar into it, and rubbed his eyes. "Well, I feel like shit at the moment. I have the worst bloody hangover."

Rolf smiled. Rolf had a rounder face than Nott, with slight dimples doting the top of his cheeks. He wore a brown tweed blazer with blue jeans. His curly copper hair was short. "Have a fun night last night?" he asked in jest.

Nott took a sip of his coffee. "Not particularly. I just watched an old movie by myself. Had a few more beers than I anticipated. I wasn't counting."

"Sounds exciting. Which movie?"

"A Bergman film: Smiles of a Summer Night."

"Was it good?"

Nott nodded. "Yeah. Real good."

"I've never heard of it," Rolf admitted. "Is it like Bergman's other films?"

"Yes and no. The same themes are there: the longing for answers that might never come and the strange feeling of emptiness. But, it's actually a comedy. A really funny comedy. It clearly influenced Woody Allen; A Midsummer's Night Sex Comedy is basically a rip off of it."

"What's it about?"

"Six people go to this old ladies house in the country for the weekend. It's all about their desires, and sex, and romance."

"Cool. Seems like you've been able to have fun since the semester ended. Found a job yet?"

"No," Nott shook his head.

"Neither have I."

"At least you're starting grad school in the fall," Nott commented.

Rolf nodded. "That's true." He took a sip of his tea. "I've been reading a lot. You know, in preparation of the fall. Right as the semester ended, I wanted read some fiction; books I could have fun reading. I've picked up a couple, but I haven't been able to get past the first couple of pages. So," he tapped the thick book he placed on the table, "I'm back in the exciting world of Ancient Magical Runes. It's not bad. I mean, I'm devoting my life's work to it right? That's what grad school's for. I might as well fully devote myself to it."

"Have you heard from Jen at all?" Nott asked.

"No. Not a word."

Rolf leaned on his elbow. Next to their table, a large window peered out into the street. People walked briskly in the summer heat. No one acknowledged each other; each passed by trapped in their own world. Consumed by their fears, hopes, dreams, worries; blinded by the monolith of life placed before them.

"You up to anything this weekend?" Rolf asked, his eyes still focused on the window.

"No. Why?"

"That movie you mentioned gave me an idea. My family owns a cottage on the ocean. We could go there for the weekend. I need to get out of this city. Clear my head. It might not be a raunchy weekend of sex and romance, but I think we could have fun. There's even a quiet sandy beach."

Nott tried to smile through his hangover, but it came across closer to a grimace. "I don't know. Two bored guys spending a weekend at the beach together. Sounds like it could get raunchy to me." He raised his eyebrows at Rolf.

Rolf laughed. "You just have to say the word, pretty boy."

Nott sat back in his chair, and stared up at the ceiling. "Do you think it's a good idea though? What would we do there? I'm not exactly a beach kind of guy. Sounds like it could get boring pretty quickly."

"What's the worst case scenario? We end up drinking too much and watching movies. That's what you'd do if you stayed in the city anyway. There's tons of stuff we could do. Like make a bonfire on the beach. That'd be pretty cool right? I've always wanted to do something like that. Pass around a bottle or two of vodka and watch the flames. It'll be awesome, trust me. We'll probably be so drunk most of the time, it won't matter if you're a beach person or not."

Nott shook his head. He took a large sip of his coffee. "Just don't ask me to wear a stupid bathing suit or anything."

Rolf smirked. Dismissively, he spoke: "God forbid you look uncool for even a second. Someone might see you in the middle of nowhere! They might tell all of your make-believe fans. What a scandal!"

"Hey. I dress this way for my own pleasure. I don't give a shit about other people." Nott spoke rubbing his forehead.

"Sure Nott. Whatever you want to tell yourself." Rolf stared out the window. "So, what do you think? Weekend at the beach?"

Nott smiled. "Sure. Sounds good."

"Cool."

...

_ His fingers delicately traced circles on her bare skin. A shiver passed through her shoulders to her thighs. On her neck, she could feel his warm breaths. Moving instinctively, she raised her arms, hoping to pull him closer to her. But, as she moved her hands towards him, he was pulled back out of her reach. Desperately, she tried to stretch her arms out further. The closer she got, the more distant he felt. An overwhelming fear began to fester in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to call out to him. Try to bring him back. But the words were stuck in her throat. A slight whimper was all that crawled out of her mouth. He was gone then, already a shadow, a silhouette far away from her._

Hermione gasped. She raised her head off of the car window. It was another dream. They haunted her over the past couple of weeks. She rubbed her eyes. Every night, she was taken back there: lying in his arms. It was a mirage; the image she desired most to reach. And yet, no matter her desire, it was still a lie.

"You alright there?" Luna asked. She stole a quick glance at Hermione, keeping one hand on the steering wheel. Luna wore a blue stripped shirt, with a long black skirt. Nearly a dozen beaded necklaces adorned her neck, matching the beaded armbands rattling as she drove. The car was an old brown sedan. Her flipflops were placed on the floor; she rested her bare foot on the gas pedal. The warm summer sun reflected off the black dashboard. In the light, Luna's dirty blonde hair shone like silk. The short girl sat forward as she drove; her chin barely above the steering wheel.

"I'm fine," Hermione muttered. She ran her fingers through her bushy brown hair. Hermione wore a beige blouse with long sleeves and a high neck, loose grey suit pants, and black leather wedges with an inch heel. "I just had a bad dream."

"Was it about him?" Luna asked concerned. Hermione stared out the window, and did not reply. The two lane highway passed along a green forest. The trees rose along hills like strokes on a mural. Luna patted Hermione's knee. "It's okay. You don't need to talk about it. We're out here to have fun, remember? Loosen up. Forget that I mentioned him."

Hermione continued to stare out the window in silence. Luna tapped on the steering wheel in restlessly. "I know!" Luna announced. "Open up the glove box. I have a secret weapon. It'll help you relax."

Rolling her eyes, Hermione leaned forward. Popping open the glove box, Hermione grabbed a small tin container. "This?" Hermione asked, waving it in Luna's peripheral vision. Luna nodded with a smile. Hermione opened the tin to reveal a half dozen rolled joints. Hermione closed it with a sigh. "Really?" She said turning to Luna.

"Come on! You need to unwind. What's better than that?" Luna exclaimed. "Look, you need to loosen up. We're here to have a good time. To help you. If you're not willing to break out of your comfort zone, then you'll never relax."

"I'm grateful for everything you're doing Luna, and I haven't really been myself the past couple of months, but I don't think 'loosening up' like this will solve everything." Hermione closed the tin case.

Luna shook her head. "Maybe not everything, but it would be a step in the right direction. Do you remember what you were doing when I picked you up this morning?"

"I was ironing. What does that have to do with anything?"

"You were not just ironing," Luna said. "You were ironing your socks. Your socks! Do you know who does that? Bored housewives who can only find pleasure in serving their overbearing husbands, and unfuckable middle-aged women who have given up on fun."

"That's an awfully strong opinion on ironed socks," Hermione commented.

"Maybe. But that does not mean it's untrue. Hermione, the goal of this weekend is to have fun. We're not going to have fun with ironed socks. We're going to have fun getting high, getting shit-faced drunk, and, with any luck, getting laid."

"I was not ironing socks to have fun. I just like the look of a neat closet," Hermione tried to clarify.

"Whatever. Enough about socks." Luna insisted.

"You were the one who brought it up," Hermione pointed out.

"Now, why don't you pass me one of those, and we'll light it up," Luna said, pointing at the tin container.

"You want to smoke right now? But you're driving!" Hermione said. She held the tin container closer to her chest.

"Stop being such a fucking prude. Have you not been listening? We're here to have fun."

"We'll have fun. That doesn't mean I'm going to let you drive under the influence."

"It's not driving under the influence. Hell, I think I drive better when I'm high," Luna insisted.

Hermione's grip on the container stayed firm. "You only think that because you're high when you're driving high. You feel better at everything when you're like that. I'm not going to let you do it. It's dangerous!"

"Give me the bloody tin!" Luna yelled playfully with a smile on her face. She turned, and tried to grab the tin out of Hermione's hands.

"Luna! Pay attention to the road!"

Luna laughed, and sat back in her seat. "Having fun yet?"

A chuckle escaped Hermione's mouth. "Sure." She leaned her head on the passenger's side window. The sea began to peer through the trees. Dark water sparkled under the sunlight. A smile grew on her lips. "Thanks for this, Luna."

Luna smirked. "What are friends for?"

...

Author's Notes: I hope you liked this chapter. I have a deep love for romantic comedies. I thought I would give it a try. I'm not much of a comedic writer, so expect it to turn into a dramedy, or just a drama with a couple of jokes. We'll see. It was fun trying something new though.

I've been writing a lot reticently, but I have not be posting much. The next chapter of The Study Group is coming along. I've also been writing a gang story in the same vein as The Warriors, staring Nott and Draco. Hopefully I will post the first chapter for that soon.

If you'd like to read another one of my stories staring Luna, the second part of my story _The Unloved Kids_ is focused on her. I also have a number of other Hermione/Nott stories if you'd like to try one of them.

Please Leave a Review.

Thanks. BJ.


	2. The Bonfire

**Chapter 2: **The Bonfire

The beach was quiet at night. Waves rhythmically crashed against the sand. A constant ebb and flow danced along the water's edge. Behind clouds, the moon's rays were hidden. The reflection of the stars dotted the black water. Along the coast, lights from cottages extended in a row. In front of a cottage resting on a hill, two men stood on the cool sand. Between them, a small hole was dug; drift wood placed loosely filled the indent. A small flame flickered between the sticks. It was the only light along the dark beach.

"I think this might the worst bonfire ever made," Nott commented, taking a swig from the bottle of vodka. He wore his tailored suit, white dress shirt, and thin black tie. The cuffs of his pants were rolled up; he stood barefoot on the sand.

Rolf squatted next to the fire. He grabbed a stick, and poked the flickering flame. "I don't think the guy wearing a suit on a beach has any authority to comment on my bonfire." Rolf wore a white polo shirt and brown khaki shorts. On his feet, Rolf had thin plastic flip-flops.

"I told you, I'm not a beach person. There's no way I'm wearing a bathing suit," Nott spoke matter of fact. He continued to take regular sips from the bottle of vodka.

Rolf stared at Nott. "Yes. You said you were not going to wear a bathing suit. You did not say you were only going to wear a suit! Who even does that? We're on a beach! Did you not bring any other clothes?"

Nott stayed silent. He took another sip of the vodka.

Rolf sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Whatever. You know, if you helped me, maybe we could get this to work."

Placing the bottle of vodka on the ground, Nott took out his pack of cigarettes from his suit jacket pocket. "The drift wood's probably too wet. It must have washed up recently."

"I realize that," Rolf spoke frustrated.

Nott continued to speak as if he did not hear Rolf. "There must be somewhere that sells firewood around here. Although, that does not help us at all right now. There's no way they'd be open this late. We could always steal the branches and logs from another cottage, but it might not be good to draw attention to ourselves. I wonder if it's even legal to do this. There are so many bi-laws on beaches. I'm sure there's a couple regarding fires on this one; we might not be allowed to have one on the beach. With that in mind, we should keep a low profile. Looking at it that way, the shittiest bonfire ever might be our best option..."

"Nott! You're not helping!" Rolf called out. He dropped the stick he was holding, and stood up. Shaking his head, he picked up the bottle of vodka from the sand, and took a couple of swigs.

Nott took out a cigarette from his pack, placed it in his mouth, and, cupping his hands, lit the tip of it. He exhaled in one slow breath, letting the smoke crawl out of his mouth. "I'm not sure what you want. I think I've made it clear: I'm not a beach person."

"You know what?" Rolf announced, pointing his finger at Nott. "If you say that phrase one more time, I am going to punch you in the face." He took a swig from the vodka. "Actually, just don't say anything. I am so done with your shit."

"Whatever," Nott spoke, rolling his eyes. He let his cigarette dangle between his index and middle finger.

The dark beach extended far into the distance. Lights from cottages continued in a line towards the horizon. It was like the beach followed along a precipice. The ocean was a deep emptiness, dark and miring. They stood at the edge of it, looking down at the face of nothing. Rolf squatted again by the fire. He let out a sigh. "This is depressing. It's not what I was expecting, but I hoped there would be something more when we got out here. We could experience real things, something amazing, like a big bonfire. Not this pathetic thing."

Nott inhaled. The tip of his cigarette burned crimson. Once it burned down to the filter, he tossed it into the fire. "You never know. The night's still young. Something amazing may happen yet."

...

Luna took another hit from the joint. She walked barefoot along the beach. The moon was trapped behind clouds. Only a couple of stars dotted the ocean. She wore a red tank top, green shorts, and flip-flops. A small canvas bag hung off her shoulder. Beside her, Hermione walked with her hair tied back. She wore a long black blouse and tight blue jeans. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"This is pointless. There's no one here," Hermione said in frustration.

"We don't know that. It goes on a bit longer. We might find someone," Luna suggested optimistically. Her silky blonde hair was loose; strands danced in the delicate wind.

"This is a private beach. The only people who use it live in these cottages. What do you think we're going to find? Two hunks just standing around? We'll be lucky if we find an elderly couple on a stroll. We're wasting our time." Hermione spoke dismissively. She kicked up a little sand as she walked.

Luna shook her head. "Come on Hermione. Lighten up. We don't know that for sure. We'll never get laid if we don't at least try." She brought the joint to her lips, and inhaled. She held her breath for a moment, before letting the smoke escape her lungs. "Want some?" She asked, offering the joint to Hermione.

"Fine," Hermione conceded. He grabbed the joint from between Luna's fingers. She inhaled quickly, and began to cough. Luna smiled at Hermione's reaction. Luna raised her arms above her head, signalling Hermione to do the same. Still coughing, Hermione obliged, and raised her arms into the air. "You know, we could be in that nice warm cottage, maybe watching a movie or something right now, instead of freezing our asses of looking for some fever dream."

Then, Luna stopped suddenly. She placed her arm in front of Hermione. Hermione froze in place. "Wait," Luna spoke quietly.

"What is it?" Hermione whispered, looking around. Her arms still extended upwards.

"Look," Luna commented pointing ahead of them. "There's something over there." She squatted down on the ground, and placed the canvas bag on the sand.

"What do you think it is?" Hermione asked. She sat down next to Luna.

"I think it's a fire."

"Really? Doesn't look like much of one," Hermione spoke. She squinted her eyes in the direction Luna pointed. Only a small glimmer of light danced before them. "Also, why did we stop? Aren't we walking along the beach looking for people? Why are we hiding from them?"

"We need to assess the situation first. Tell what we're dealing with," Luna said, whispering.

"What could we possibly be dealing with? Are you afraid of something?"

"No. I'm not afraid of anything. We need to determine whether it's a false alarm or not."

"You mean if it's a bunch of attractive single guys waiting on the beach for us. It's not going to happen. Can I stand up? The sand is starting to get under my jeans." Hermione sat up on her knees, and began to stand.

"Stay down!" Luna whispered loudly. She grabbed Hermione's shoulder and pulled her back down onto the sand. "And shut up. Just wait a goddamned second."

"Fine." Hermione raised her hands in defeat. "We'll do it your way miss taking-this-way-too-seriously. I though I was supposed to be the one with a stick up her ass."

Luna set her canvas bag in front of her. She opened the top, and pulled out a pair of binoculars. With a smile, she placed them over her eyes, and looked at the fire in the distance.

"Okay, now you're just fucking with me. Why the hell did you bring binoculars with you? It's the middle of the night. What could you possibly see with them?" Hermione asked bewildered.

"It looks like two hot guys!" Luna announced.

"No fucking way." Hermione reached forward and grabbed the binoculars from Luna's hand. She stared intensely forward. "Well, what do you know, it is! What's the chances of that?"

"Chance has nothing to do with it," Luna said, grabbing back the binoculars. "It's fate. A gift from God. He knows how desperate we are, and has given us this sacrifice to the altar of our sex lives."

"That's one way to put it," Hermione mentioned, as if she was not listening. "Should we go talk to them?"

"No. Don't be stupid Hermione." Luna stared through the binoculars at the fire. She stayed focused forwards, and spoke slowly. "We can't just walk in there blind. We need a strategy. I know you've been out of the game for a while, but you need to think this through. There are possibilities we need to consider. What if one of them has a..." Luna trailed off and paused.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, confused by Luna's silence. "Did something happen? Did someone else show up?"

"Nothing's happened. It's just... it's just..."

"It's just what?"

"I think I recognize one of them. I just can't put my finger on it. I think it might be someone from Hogwarts. No... Yes... Oh! Fuck! I know who that is." Luna handed Hermione the binoculars.

Hermione placed them on her eyes. She stared forward on the beach. "Who is it?" she asked. There were two men: one wore a bright polo and the other wore a full black suit. It was strange to see someone in a suit standing on a beach. He looked like he was at a funeral, proceeding over the burning of ashes.

"The man in the suit. I think it's Theodore Nott."

"Theodore Nott? The boy from Slytherin?" Hermione stared at the man in the suit intensely. He was thin and tall like Nott used to be, but the man looked more mature. He wore the suit confidently. It was not the same awkward loner Hermione used to debate in class.

Luna nodded. "Yeah. The one you used to fight for top marks with. That has to be him, or, at least, I'm certain he is." She grabbed the binoculars from Hermione's grasp and stuffed them into the canvas bag. "See what I mean? Tonight is fate! We had to walk down this beach. We have to meet Nott. There's no other possibility."

"Maybe?" Hermione tentatively agreed. "How do you know so much about Nott? He wasn't even in your year."

Luna blushed slightly. "I... I may have had a bit of a crush on him at one point."

"Really? A Slytherin?" Hermione asked surprised.

"So? I was a Ravenclaw, remember. We didn't have the same rivalry between our houses as Gryffindor and Slytherin."

"Still, he might have been a Death Eater."

"I liked him before all that."

"Why _did_ you like him?"

"I don't know. He was tall and skinny. He listened to cool music." Luna suggested.

"That's all?"

"Well, really, it was probably because he was a loner. You were never alone like I was in Hogwarts. It was only in the last year or two I could have said I had friends. Nott was one of the few like me. He was always on the side, alone." She smiled. "I'm not even sure I ever talked to him. I was such a scared little girl." She took a deep breath. "But, not anymore. Lets go talk with them."

Luna stood up and started to briskly walk towards the small fire. Hermione watched Luna for a moment. The night was moving in ways she did not expect. Their quiet weekend was about to get loud. And, who was the other man with Nott? She watched Luna walk for a moment, before sprinting forward to catch up.

...

Author's Notes:

Not going to lie, this story has proved to be more difficult to write than I expected. I've written a couple of drafts for the next chapter, but I've been unsatisfied with each one. I will not post something I am not confident in, so, it may take longer to post another chapter than I intended. Sorry about that. With any luck it'll come to me. I'm having a lot of fun writing the characters. I would like to turn that into a good story. We'll see.

Thanks for all the nice reviews! I hope you liked this chapter too.

Please Leave a Review.

Thanks. BJ.


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